Why do we even bother?
by RyuNoRainbow
Summary: A collection of random one-shots about life at Olympus with some short arcs throughout, mostly following Hermes, Hades, Rainbow, Athena, and Apollo around as they go through average and not-so-average problems of life. No OC/anyone Percabeth Japser
1. Shrooms, Shrooms, and more Shrooms

**RyuNoRainbow: Hi guys! Thanks for reading this story ^_^**

**Apollo: Technically, they're reading the AN not the story.**

**Hermes: Shut up you. RyuNoRainbow owns only her OC**

***Must Read***

**There will be references to other anime/manga, books, pop culture, and much much more. Only one OC: Xiaolin D. Rainbow. She sorta lives with Apollo who is her best bud. That's immortal. Half dragon and half human she tends to get swept up in the Olympian dysfunctinalness. Appearance: art/H-U-S-H-52970400 but the highlights are darker and eyes too. And her skin is tanned. **

**Contains many genre throughout the story. Also, the group of Rainbow, Athena, Hades, Apollo, and Hermes will be referred to as the French Toast Mafia or the Abusement guys. Lol, even Captain Krunch and the cereal killers. **

**Chapter 1**

Apollo and Rainbow were just back from a SHIELD mission when a whirl wind of motion caught their eye from down the hall.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Ares shouted as he zoomed past the frozen duo.

_Whoosh. _

It would have been a very average sight – if it wasn't for the odd lumps sticking out of Ares's head.

"Are those _mushrooms_ growing out of his skull . . .?" Rainbow asked slowly. Apollo squinted his eyes as Ares skidded to a halt at the locked door at the end of the hall. He instantly spun around and started running back the way he came.

"I don't know - let me check," Apollo said as the genius tried to run past them. Apollo promptly grabbed Ares by the scruff of his shirt and the two friends took a closer look at the multicolored fungus growing out of his head.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Ares wailed and he frantically waved his arms around trying to get out of Apollo's death grip.

"When the heck did _this_ happen?" Rainbow asked in disbelief as she poked one of the wiggly pieces of mold.

"STOP TOUCHING THEM!" Ares sobbed. They were sensitive.

"COME BACK HERE YOU IDIOT! I NEED TO DISINFECT YOU!" Hades hollered as he ran around the corner decked out in a ski mask, a pair of iron gloves, one of Athena's science goggles and a large can of disinfectant spray.

Apollo promptly dropped the squirming genius.

"Is he _contagious_?" he exclaimed in horror staring at his hand. Rainbow promptly rubbed her hand on the back of his white shirt and took a gigantic step back. He glared at her in betrayal.

"I DON'T NEED ANY DISINFECTING!" Ares screamed as he fell to the floor and ran for his life. Rainbow made sure to wash her navy blue tank top when she got the chance.

"HOW COULD YOU CRASH ATHENA'S FUNGUS LAB EXPERIMENT WHILE SLEEPWALKING?" Hades shouted in anger.

"I WAS DRUGGED!" Ares wailed as he ran down the stairs and out of sight. Hades whipped out a second spray can and dashed through the door after him.

_Cricket…cricket…cricket…_

"Rainbow . . . my hand is itching…" Apollo said in fear. Rainbow narrowed her eyes. Someone was going to die.

"Where is Hermes?" Rainbow said dangerously.

* * *

Zeus paused as he heard a lot of evil cackling coming from the nuclear experimentation room on Athena's research floor.

Her scientists were _not_ supposed to sound like that. Diabolical laughter was a serious offense at Olympus. Unless it wasn't Olympian scientists at all…

"Hestia . . . ?" Zeus said slowly as he IMed her.

"They're _here_," she said gravely. Zeus's eye twitched.

The next thing they knew a lab door burst open to reveal and angry looking Zeus.

He stalked into the room full of diabolical laughter and stared at 4 people covered in . . . mutated _mushrooms_.

For a moment he debated on whether he should just give up and walk away. But he was the _damn_ ruler of this floating rock – he was going to stick it through to the end. Even if it killed him. He wished the likelihood of that was not as high as he feared it was.

"Before I ask why you are all growing mushrooms out of your bodies…what on _earth_ are you doing?" Zeus said slowly. The guilty Captain Krunch and the Cereal killers all quickly blocked the view of the window behind them.

"Nothing!" they all said in unison. Zeus narrowed his eyes.

"Athena and Apollo – I expected more from you," he said in disapproval. Athena's eyes darkened.

"Father . . . if someone infected you with hundreds of mutated fungi that will take weeks to remove – what would you do?" she asked guardedly. He paused.

"What the hell are you talking abo-" he froze as he came face to face with the disgusting view of Rainbow in her dragon form twitching on the ground with hundreds of blue glowing mushrooms covering every inch of her dark scaled body. Oh dear god she looked like mushroom death warmed over.

"Rain . . . no like tiny wiggle shrooms!" she groaned as he coughed up another shroom. It was an ugly brown one too.

Zeus stared at the insanity before him.

"You all know what this means right?" he said slowly. They all paled as they saw the odd look in his eyes.

"No Zeus . . . you wouldn't!" Hades said in horror.

"QUARANTINED!" he shouted before he promptly slammed the door shut in their faces and locked it from the other side.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO!" Ares wailed falling to his knees scratching at the metal door. Zeus whipped out his thunderbolt and melted the lock shut. He spun around the pointed at a random minor god in the crowd.

"You! You there! Put Olympus on red alert! We have an epidemic to prevent," Zeus said before he stalked down the hall with a vicious smile on his face.

This meant at least 2 days without any French Toast Mafia shenanigans. He was in heaven.

Too bad his hand was starting to itch a little.

* * *

_Outside quarantine. _

BANG! CRASH! BOOM! SCREAM! RIP! BANG! BANG! SMACK!

Hestia and several satyrs stared at the bolted door in horror.

"What is going _on_ in there?" Hestia asked slowly. The trembling agents beside her frantically shook their heads.

"We don't know! We're scared to open the door!" they whispered in fear.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEECH!

"_Holy crap…"_ one of the white faced satyrs said promptly taking a step back.

"Hold it together satyrs! It can't be that bad!" Hestia said firmly. She had to believe that lie to continue to keep standing there and not run for her life. She had to set an example for the rest of her satyrs.

But _damn_ was she scared shitless too.

_Inside quarantine. _

"I WILL BEAT YOUR MUSHROOMS INTO THE GROUND!" Ares shouted from behind the overturned desk he was hiding behind. Athena narrowed her eyes from the other side of the room.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Red mushrooms flew through the air and sliced right through Ares's barricade. He froze in shock.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME YA CRAZY BOOKWORM?" Tony shrieked. Athena blinked.

"Ares – I have never _not_ wanted to kill you," she said honestly. He thought about it for a second.

"True – FIRE!" Ares shouted as he released his mushroom catapult.

Apollo froze as the yellow fungus flew through the air right for him.

"MOVE CLINT MOVE!" Athena shouted – but she was too late.

SMACK!

"I'VE BEEN HIT! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Apollo shouted falling to his knees in horror. The Ares mushroom had completely paralyzed his right arm.

Athena's eyes blazed with an inextinguishable flame of rage.

Oh dear god someone was going to die.

She whipped out her mushroom launcher and picked up her ultimate blood red missile mushroom– she had been growing it for hours.

"DIE! ARES! DIE!" she roared before she slammed her hand on the trigger and flew back from the force of the launch.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ares shouted in slow motion as he dived behind the sleeping dragon mushroom. The gigantic mushroom missile missed Ares by an inch and smacked straight into Rainbow's stomach. The dragon groaned. Ares sighed in relief – he was safe.

Too bad the impact caused the dragon to roll over and squish the poor idiot. Ares's eyes bulged.

OOMPH!

" $(&)!* * &($*& ($* (&!$)!" Ares's screams were muffled by hundreds of glowing mushrooms.

That was the end of Ares, the war god.

"LET ME OUT!" Hades wailed scratching on the only door in this room. He didn't want to die as a mushroom!

Suddenly the door swung open and Hades nearly fell flat on his face.

"Dreams do come true?" he said with all the hope in the world. They all stared at the light with hope shinning in their eyes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zeus screamed as he was thrown through the doorway and freedom was slammed shut in their face. Athena patted Apollo on the back as the hope shattered on his face.

They all stared at their director…..he was no longer technically bald.

"OH MY GOD! He's infected with the damn mushrooms _too_!" Hades shouted as he promptly burst into tears. It was too much for him!

Athena suddenly narrowed her eyes.

"You! _You're_ the reason we're all still here!" Athena said dangerously advancing on her traitorous dad. Fury paled as he backed away from his fuming daughter. Nothing was scarier than the look in her eyes. He froze as he noticed a looming red eyed figure towering behind the angry bookworm.

He regretted his original statement immediately.

"WHAT IS _THAT_?" Fury shouted in horror. They all spun around and stared at the most enormous monster blob they have ever seen. Ares and the dragon have merged into the worst nightmare being imaginable. Courtesy of their mushrooms linking them together.

"ATTACK MY SISTER!" Ares shouted raising one of their mushroom arms.

All the Avengers plus Zeus promptly turned around and joined Hades in his pitiful attempts to have someone on the other side of the door rescue them.

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR SOMEBODY!" they shrieked banging on the door.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

They all paled.

"Rain. No. Like. WIGGLY SHROOMS!" Dragon-Tony roared angrily.

May the French Toast Mafia rest in pieces.

* * *

5 French Toast Mafia and 1 Ruler director were finally shipped out of quarantine and locked away in a stuffy Olympian medical room. They were all bandaged from head to toe and handcuffed to their beds. Rainbow's handcuffs were made out of double plated titanium and even then there was a taser stuck to the wall just in case.

"When we get out of here – all of you are going to _die_," Fury muttered darkly from the corner of the room. Apollo snorted.

"Dad – frankly you did this to yourself," he said as he laid face first on his bed. The stupid mushroom removal process hurt like _hell_.

"When are we going to get out of here?" Hermes sniffled into his pillow. Being in a room with Ares for too long had negative side effects on the poor Messenger. Athena clenched her fists.

"We could have gotten out a _long_ time ago if they didn't confiscate my book," she growled.

"You know what this has come to right?" Ares said gravely as he glanced at the rest of his team and dad. All their eyes widened.

"No…" Zeus said in horror.

"_Yes_…we must finally resort to the most desperate of escape measures," Ares said solemnly. He would regret this decision for the rest of pathetic life.

_40 minutes later. _

Hades stared at the French Toast Mafia.

The French Toast Mafia stared back.

He gave their mushrooms a pointed look.

Their growl told him not to push it.

"I will help – in one second," Hades said raising a finger. "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" he fell on the ground crying tears of laughter.

"LOKI IF YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING WE WILL STRANGLE YOU!" Athena shouted dangerously. Hades wiped the tears from his eyes – it was too much! They were covered in rainbows of disgusting fungus!

"I shall help you escape Olympus– under _one_ condition," he gasped through his hysteria.

"And what is _that_?" Athena asked narrowing her eyes. He grinned evilly and handed her a piece of paper. She took it warily and glanced down at the messy chicken scratches.

"_Say it_," he whispered in anticipation. Athena went bright red and promptly handed the war god the note.

"YOU SAY IT!" she shouted in horror. Ares glanced at the paper and paled. Everyone read it over his shoulder and promptly took a gigantic step back.

"HE GAVE IT TO _YOU_ GRAY EYES!" he shouted shoved it back into her hands. Athena growled and threw it at his face.

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM SAYING THAT!" she screamed at him.

"Then I guess you're all stuck here," Loki said with a shrug.

"_SOMEBODY_ SAY IT!" Ares groaned banging his head against the wall. Hermes took one look at the last hope he had of ever getting out of here.

"I WILL SAY THE DAMN NOTE!" Hermes said raising his hand in the madness.

Everyone froze.

He truly was a hero.

Or someone desperate enough to do anything to get away from this insane group of people.

Hermes took the crumpled note and started reading it with trembling hands. Oh this better be worth it.

"Loki you are the star in my dull sky, the flame that keeps my heart alive, the most handsome prince that ever lived, your black locks of hair roll down your shoulders like intense waterfalls of heaven. Your beautiful green eyes are like a deep forest that contains my gardens of Eden. Oh my _god_. I shall follow you to the ends of the earth and hogtie your brother and gag his big mouth with a stress ball so he doesn't follow us too. Nothing shall tear us apart except the burning flame of jealous _passion_? When does this bullshit end? I promise I shall stand by your side as you conquer the world that is rightfully – oh hell no. I don't make promises –" Everyone gave him the death stare. "-ALRIGHT FINE! I will be your bitch – oh my god – whether you want me or not. Until the ends of time you have my life, my soul and my holy pus -_holy shit_ this is rated R!" Hermes said in horror.

Apollo promptly shot Athena a burning suspicious jealous look. She glared at him dangerously.

"Don't even try dumbass," she growled. Hermes went ghostly white as he read the last line.

". . .Oh no. Please don't make me say the last one," Hermes said desperately begging Hades with his eyes.

"SAY IT!" they all shouted. They were so close to freedom! Take one for the team Hermes! Die from embarrassment so that they could all live!

". . . Please give me a leash so that I could be your loyal groveling dog for the rest of my pathetic worthless immortal life," Hermes sobbed through his words. Hades cackled like no tomorrow as he leaned against the wall. It wasn't even meant for the Messenger – but hell was that fun to watch.

"_Priceless_ – now jump," Hades said, tapping the wall and making it disappear. They all stared at him like he was crazy.

"You want us to jump . . . FROM A 100FT CLIFF?" Zeus shouted in disbelief.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The floating rock thing was suddenly on red alert.

Hestia burst through the door in a full body biohazardous suit. At least _someone_ had brains in this place.

"NOBODY LEAVES THIS ROOM UNLESS THEY WANT TO GET GASED UNDERSTOOD?" she said threateningly pointing her gas gun at them.

All their hands went up.

"Well that's my cue to go . . ." Hades said as he inched towards the door.

All the French Toast Mafia narrowed their eyes and shared a dark look.

"FRENCH TOAST MAFIA – GROUP HUG!" they shouted before they promptly body sandwiched Hades to the ground.

"NOOOOO THE MUSHROOMS ARE TICKLING PLACES THAT ARE NOT MEANT TO BE TICKLED!" he wailed in horror as he got attacked on all sides.

"That's just _wrong_ people," Hestia said in disgust as she stared at the weird mushroom/avengers/Hades mountain.

Nobody would ever be the same again at Olympus.

**And that is the beginning of random one-shots. Might contain demigods but I'm not real good at keeping them in character DX**

**Read and review**


	2. Fear

**To VidiaPhoenix:** **Kinda. But it will have some serious parts sometimes**

**Only own Rainbow**

Rainbow wasn't afraid of very many things. Sure, she was afraid of Tartarus, but then again, the only two people that weren't were Hades and Gaea.

But that wasn't her primary fear, no; it was something a lot more personal. Rainbow's greatest fear was that someone would come and do something terrible to her "best friend". No, not her precious Fire (small plump fire dragon that is really really adorable). Apollo, or 'pollo, as she liked to refer to him.

And thus, our story begins.

"I'm not sure if this is the best idea, dude. What if Athena is home with him? They have a meeting soon, remember?" Hermes whispered to Hades, who winked at him.

"Everything will be alright, nephew. Rainbow will forgive us for this little prank, no? Revenge for taking Cerberus for a walk!"

As a matter of fact, Apollo was home alone, in his beautiful, always cleaner-than-a-hospital house. He was sitting on the sofa in the living room, a book on his lap, asleep.

His three dogs were nearby, each of them also partly asleep, but always wary in case someone tried to take their beloved master away. Then again, who would be stupid enough to try that?

Apparently, two out of the five members of the French Toast Mafia, that's who. Quietly, on the backside of the house, Hades picked the lock on the back door and let Hermes and himself in. Quietly, they stalked through the house, searching for the blonde young sun god.

All three dogs perked up their ears at the sound of muffled footsteps. One began to paw at Apollo's jeans, trying to get him to awaken. The other two began to growl when they saw Hades and Hermes emerge from the darkened hallway. Apollo sat up, unable to recognize the two people coming from his hallway, seeing as how both Hermes and Hades decided to wear masks like creepers.

Hermes came forward towards Apollo, who, having no other weapon at hand, threw his book straight at Antonio. He had perfect aim, getting the prankster straight in the chest.

To further brighten Hermes's plan, all three dogs lunged at him, deciding Hades wasn't as big of a threat since he had made no move towards their master.

As well trained as they were, the dogs were wrong about that fact. Hades came at Apollo, pulling something out of his pocket as he did; a small can of knockout spray. Clearly, he didn't understand that the person he was messing with was German, and wouldn't go down all that easily.

So when the god attempted to spray it in Apollo's face, all he got in response was a punch to the stomach. By this time, Hermes had managed to get back to his feet, and came behind Apollo, grabbing him around the waist. Swiftly, Hades managed to hit Apollo's pressure point on his neck.

Apollo only saw black.

He awoke inside of a small basement area, a storage room. It was dark, but clean. Apollo was lying on a mat on the floor, and the whole room smelled like . . . cheese?

Rainbow's Itouch began blaring, startling Fire into a peeping fit. Stroking Fire with one hand, Rainbow answered her phone with the other.

"What?"

"Rainbow, Rainbow! It's me, Hades! Guess what Hermes and I have?"

"What?"

"Your little Apollo!"

There was a moment of absolute silence. Hades and Hermes sat on the other end expectantly.

"Rainbow?"

". . ."

"You are both going to die."

The line went dead, and Hades visibly paled. Hermes looked at him with panic in his eyes.

"Are you sure this was the best idea?"

Under normal circumstances, it would have been a bit of a run from their house in California to Olympus, but this was no normal circumstance. Not when there's an enraged dragon involved.

Somehow, it took Rainbow only five minutes to get there (HOW?), and she was attempting to break down Antonio's front door.

"Oh please please please, don't be so angry!" Hermes yelled desperately. "It was just a joke!"

All he got in response was his door falling inwards with a loud crash, and a whack to the head. Stunned a bit, the spiky blonde haired young man fell over, as the dragon swept past him.

"Where is my partner?" Rainbow asked as she lifted Hades off the ground by the front of his shirt.

"S-storage shed!"

Hades knew to answer quickly, seeing as Rainbow had easily defeated both him and Hermes in past prank wars, and wasn't nearly as angry as she was now.

What he didn't expect was to get thrown across the room, landing right on top of poor Hermes.

Apollo heard a sound, like the locked door of the shed getting violently ripped off of its hinges, only to see his friend's dark blue eyes.

"Rain . . .?"

"APOLLO!"

Hades stood up, helping Hermes off the floor.

"Damn, that hurt. I just hope-" Hermes was cut off by the sound of a chainsaw.

"-that she's cooled off a bit?"

He and Hermes began to scream themselves shrilly as Rainbow stormed in, growling like the half-reptile she is.

This is why one should never toy with a certain Dragon's worst fear.

**Now Apollo commands you to review!**


End file.
